'Twas the night before christmas
And all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
Not even a HOLY SHIT RADROACH
The children were sleeping, the parent's were too
The smell of dried dog shit stuck to their shoes
When a clickity slam and a bingity bosh
Crashed onto the roof
"What's that? Oh my gosh!"
Cindy Don Dinkface and Timmy Ton Mace
Ran down to the living room with excitement on their face
And who stood near the fire, a man all in red
He turned around and smiled
"You're gonna wish you were dead."
He pulled out a rifle and pushed down his pants
"Get ready for christmas, now let's do this dance."
He pushed and he puffed and he spread christmas cheer
All over Cindy's face and Timmy's little ear
The parent's came running, what a horrible sound
But they only found the two curled up on the ground
And so santa escaped on his magic jetpack
"SUCK MY DICK YOU LOSERS NEXT YEAR I'LL BE BACK"